I remember when.....

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:43 pm

It makes perfect sense Sasha.

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Thu Mar 20, 2008 5:47 pm

Thank goodness! Thanks Karla.

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Thu Mar 20, 2008 6:35 pm

Sadly I grew up with my grandmother because my mother had to work so much (and she was a single parent). My mother worked 40+ hours a week for me and her and yes that was noble and great work she did but I missed her so much growing up. She was never there when I wanted her to be. At the time I never understood it and I resented her for it but now I get it. We're like sisters now though sometimes I think she's a little more domineering over me than I'd like but the umbilical cord won't be cut as it was never cut for her and her mother either.

My grandmother was one of those obsessive compulsive women who had to have everything JUST SO. Laundry done daily, drapes cleaned semi-yearly, curtains bleached bi-monthly, trash taken out daily. It was hard being a kid living there because she was SO metculous, I couldn't do anything because one hair out of place and my room was a disaster to her and I had to hear her pitch a fit. I was a creative kid with a vivid imagination so I'd be cutting, pasting, coloring, playing school (alone) and I'd have all my garbage in the waste paper can when I was done. Because there was garbage in the can, she'd freak out on me. If I went into the room with the plush carpeting, she'd follow me around smoothing out the rug. The living room was filled with the tackiest furniture imaginable and I just started to sit in there a few years ago. One foot wasn't allowed in that room under any circumstance (I mean that literally. I'd get yelled at if my foot crossed into the room if I was playing on the floor).

Apparently my mother had the same problem with her as we laughed about it not too long ago. After my mother divorced my father when I was about 2, she moved back in with my grandmother. She took up her old bedroom again (the room with the plush rug) and I had the TV room behind hers. My mother lasted 1 month before she switched places and went downstairs because she couldn't stand being on the same floor as my grandmother any longer. My mother said she'd go to the bathroom and come back into her room as my grandmother was smoothing out the carpet. She'd get a drink and as all drinks do, it would leave a sweat ring when she'd pick up the glass. My grandmother would constantly be under her mopping up the sweat ring. If she left the drink for a moment, my grandmother poured the drink down the drain, washed the glass and put it away. Yeah that didn't last long lol. Mom moved her room downstairs lol. We laughed over how fussy my grandmother is over her gold and rust plush velvet couches and chairs in the tacky room and the couch whose upolstery was designed of the Declaration of Independance with scrolls of parchment reading, "We the people of the United States of America...", eagles holding arrows, flags etc... with a dark gold/brown background. Ugliest crap anyone has ever seen! They don't even have a nice design to the frame of the couches.

I learned a lot about housekeeping from granny but she was a bit of an extremist. Mom was tidy but did cleaning weekly rather than daily. Mom couldn't cook very well so I literally lived in the local diner every night 7 nights a week from when I was about 6 until about 19ish. You get tired of diner food really quickly after that lol. I can't even go into a diner anymore. I don't know if our UK friends have diners over there but in case you don't, a diner here in the US is a restaurant that serves literally ANYTHING. Breakfast foods, lunch sandwiches, entrees of all sorts. You name it, they got it and some are open 24/7. Around here they are mainly owned by Greek families so you'll find pages of Greek food on menus.

Granny is a great lady though as she's getting more and more stressed out trying to take care of her dying husband and her 95 year old mother who lives on her own still, she's getting edgier, crankier and very blunt.

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:10 pm

Uh oh - I think I'm dangerously close to becoming your Granny.......LOL!!

Just goes to show that we all have our quirks, and blessed are those whose quirks don't have an impact on someone elses life in some way or other! (rather, blessed are those who aren't affected by said quirks!).

I've long had this theory that we probably rebel against our parents style of upbringing in some way, as they probably did against theirs, and you know what? That means we are destined to be the opposite of our parents, who tried to be the opposite of theirs - which means, we will end up as our Grandparents!!!! Do you have a room with shag pile carpet (that would be 'plush'!) Michelle...??!!

I guess we will all feel we did our best as parents - until our adult children tell us different!! God only knows what my daughter will have to say about me?! LOL

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:33 pm

My Grandmother had a 13 year affair with her married boss and when she got pregnant with my dad she married another man to cover it up ;)

I think she must have been fabulous......

but I'm not sure how much I am actually like her although I look so like her strangers have asked me if I am related...she died when I was 3....
_________________
Ouissi x
http://ajournalofdreams.blogspot.com

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:36 pm

Crikey.......

I never knew my maternal Grandmother - she died before I was born. I can only wonder..... I was very close to my maternal Grandfather though (he lived with us through our adolescence, and still with my Mum and Dad until he died). My Mum wasn't at all like him.

I am quite like my paternal Grandmother - we share the same sense of humour definitely, and attitudes towards things. Sometimes.

Of course, by my theory, my daughter will be like MY Mother - eeeek!!! Although, so far, she seems to the only person on the planet on the same wave length as my Dad....marginally preferable, but still scarey! Of course, the trouble is, they are totally different Grandparents to how they were parents - but I'm glad about that!

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:14 am

LOL an no I don't have a plush shag carpet. We have hardwood floors. I must admit that I am becoming more like my mother and grandmother but I also think that's part of the growing up process. I was a slob as a teenager as most teenagers are. Some people never grow out of that most do. I am more like my mother than I wanted to admit to but I know for a fact there are things I will do differently than she did and that's just the difference in our personalities. But I remember saying to my mother over and over, "When I grow up, I'll never be like you!" YEHAAA I'm a spitting image of her. We chat and she just looks at me funny and goes, "Wow... you really are just like me aren't you? Holy crap!" We talk alike, we act alike, we do similar things, people mistake me for her on the phone and vice versa. We come to the same conslusions on stuff, I'm becoming more like her cleaning style more than my grandmother's (thank god). Hell me mother and I even wear some similar clothes. We're constantly trading clothes. I just need to get her out of the beige era. Everything in her closet is in 72 different hues of beige lol.

And Ouissi, that's interesting about your grandmother. Can't say there isn't enough to chat about at reunions lol.

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:40 am

No family reunions on that side...she was an only child, as was her cover up dad...and she only had my father....at 47...

We do have some lovely things Mr Burton (real father) gave her as well as a lot of love letters...and a beautiful Cecil Beaton portrait of her...

i wish i had really known her...all I remember is that she was very old...

;)
_________________
Ouissi x
http://ajournalofdreams.blogspot.com

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:01 pm

A Cecil Beaton portrait??? This woman gets more and more fascinating - have you thought about researching her and her life? Could make an intriguing read!

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:09 pm

She was from Ireland...he was a wealthy businessman from Fleetwood...the two of them started Burton's biscuits in his garage in the 30s...

We have family records, but, like her marriage certificate (she tried to alter the date), she doctored a lot of them!!!

I love a bit of family intrigue ;)

Plus the portrait is mine, once I finally get my mother to give it to me...she left me everything...but my mum is still holding it all for me....
_________________
Ouissi x
http://ajournalofdreams.blogspot.com

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:06 pm

Ouissi, the story of your maternal grandmother sounds so interesting. It is amazing to uncover family "secrets". I remember my mom's brother travelling to England to research the family tree on their side (we were all living in Canada at the time) and he discovered the family originated from Cornwall and were of the era when they gave false signals to ships so they crashed against the rocks, lost their cargos and the locals would pillage the wreck. The family history indicates they fled Cornwall with the last name of Davis, emigrating to Eastern Canada and taking on the name of Davies...eventually pioneering across Canada to the West Coast of British Columbia. I so wish I had the family history but I've lost touch with that side of my family (my mom died when I was 18yrs. old).

I know her brother has died many years ago and I don't have a clue about the siblings (my cousins)...their names or where they might be living. It would be so much fun to research the history but I just don't have any family details to be able to begin.

I hope you can one day put up the picture of your grandmother in a place of pride in your home. What a fab history to celebrate.

Jacquie x

Subject: Re: I remember when..... Mon May 12, 2008 4:41 am

Hello Barbara,
I was really touched by your remembrance of your mum.
My mum is my inspiration - my dad worked overseas for most of their marriage and she managed to raise 3 daughters, look after and nurse both her elderly parents and my dad's and nurse her terminally ill younger brother through the last few months of his life. All this whilst retaining an excellent sense of humour, being a rock for my sister's and myself and maintaining hitherto unreached levels of culinary and housekeeping perfection and being a perfect granny to her grandkids!
When I told her this yesterday (she spent the day planting seedlings she has raised in my garden!) she looked surprised and confided in me that it had taken her a very long time to get to this point and it had not come naturally to her! Damn! I thought it might be genetic and one day I would wake up practically perfect!