Rough day... a well needed rant.

Subject: Rough day... a well needed rant. Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:57 pm

My lord am I cranky today. Everything is getting to me. I have this migraine that is starting the crankiness off just nicely. On top of it, I hate my job but I'm stuck here for now. I have one cubicle neighbor whose voice just grates on my nerves and he hasn't shut up all morning. I understand that he's ambitious but he sometimes gets to a point it sounds like he's begging when he talks about how well he does around here. That on top of him being able to talk about anything for hours... I just can't stand listening to him. Then my neighbor behind me needs typing lessons BAD. I want to shoot pellets at his hands in an effort to get him to type faster or more fluid. All I listen to is this...

'TAK' 'smack space' (Long pause) 'TAK' 'TAK' 'TAK' 'TAK' 'smack space' (long pause) 'TAK' 'TAK' 'TAK' 'TAK' 'TAK' 'TAK' 'smack space' (pause)

I'm drowning in filing and there is just no where to put everything. The only person I talked to in this office was let go a few months back and I got 1/2 her work on top of mine that kept me busy to begin with. She was full time, I'm part time... yet they merge everything into... ME!? So I have a roster of things to do on top of cleaning out 24 large filing drawers filled with old paperwork and I have to circulate the old and put in the new. I haven't had a chance to work on the cabinets in weeks and the new just keeps getting more and more and more.

Now I have the most impatient people in the world looking for my help. I have other tasks that need getting done but that doesn't matter to anyone. They are having a melt down and therefore I need to be at their becking demand that instant. I don't mind stopping to get an idea as to what they need but they get indignant when I don't sit down right there and do it all. One of the women who told me she needed my help, "so badly... I can't handle it anymore" had me go through a bunch of her files and take out all the stuff from 2007 at her desk. Fine did that, lost a whole day's tasks to do this and I made room for her crap at the back of the cabinet area to hold onto until I can get to her files in the cabinets I haven't cleaned out yet. 15 minutes before I was to leave yesterday she comes up to me in a huff saying, "Are you coming back?" "Huh?" "I have filing that I just don't have time to do that I need you to do for me. Huge stacks... aren't you coming back to my desk?" "No. I'm leaving in 15 minutes and I have to be out fast." "You're leaving in 15 minutes... that's great. Well I'll leave all my paperwork on your desk. File it for me in the morning when you get in." Now my desk looks like a bomb hit it. I have crap everywhere! I don't even know what to do with 1/2 of it. I would love to just quit right here right now but I can't do that. I would love to get fired so I could collect unemployment but because I'm pregnant, they won't do that. Opens the door for a lawsuit. =o(

My husband went for a job interview last night with a recruiter who said he had a great job for him that paid 20-25k more a year than he's making now. He fit the bill perfectly. That also would mean I could get out of this job safely without worrying how we're going to eat that night. He gets down there and the recruiter tells him, "Oh that job. Yeah I think that job is gone. They made an offer to someone else already but I'll keep you in mind for anything else we get in." What was the flippin' point of making him skip 1/2 a days work to get down there, get all dolled up and drive 45 minutes south just to tell him that the job he was after no longer exists!? What they discussed could have been done via email or a phone interview. After dealing with recruiters enough, I learned that they just try to rope you in to show to their investors that they have X amount of clients. Rarely do they "think" of you when a job comes in. Usually you have to ride them to remember you... you have to scour their site to find an appropriate job and remind them that you still exist. So it was a waste of time and we got our hopes up for nothing. My husband's attitude towards it was, "Well he said he'd find me something so I'll leave him to his job and we'll see what happens." I shared with him my experiences in dealing with recruiters and how it took 2 years of riding the recruiters to find this part time job. We have a baby coming in 7 months... we don't have time to dawdle with his just above entry level crap-tastic pay rate. He took a lower paying job to escape the hell of traveling over an hour into NYC every day. His job doesn't even cover food, gas, or entertainment let alone debt re-payment.

I really just need to go back to bed and start the day over again. If you read the rant this long, I appreciate it. You don't have to reply or find empathy. It was just good to put it out in writing and out of my chest.

Subject: Re: Rough day... a well needed rant. Wed Mar 19, 2008 8:37 pm

Michelle -

I'm so glad you were able to at least "talk" this through with us. I find talking or writing about my issues is so cathartic, as I hope you find as well.

First - you have every right to feel cranky. Your body feels like aliens have invaded it and set up camp, you don't like your job, you have financial issues that will only be strained even more come baby time and you are worried about that, your husband's job situation is another thing to add to the mountain and you live in a very stressful part of the country. I'm surprised you're sane enough to even know you need to vent this!

Second - are you allowed, or is it even workable, for you to listen to music like an iPod or something while you're filing perhaps to drown out the noise that is driving you mad? If not, do you have a permanent desk that you can pretty up with a focal point that calms you so that you have somewhere pleasant to concentrate when things feel to badly? Could you lie and say you need a smoke break just to go outside and breathe some fresh air for a few minutes? There is nothing worse than being in a job you hate and knowing you're there because you have to be and need the money. I know, both my husband and I have been there.

Third - I hope your husband quickly realized that what you are saying is from experience and not from just wanting to nag him.

I'm thinking about and praying for you. Praying for some peace and joy to come your way and for a new job for either or both of you.

Sounds like a candle-lit bubble bath or long hot shower is in order for you tonight!

Subject: Re: Rough day... a well needed rant. Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:11 am

Michelle - I too am amazed you are coherant enough to even type all this out - get it off your chest girl!!! It's MUCH healthier than bottling it in - so rant away! We won't mind a bit.

I was going to say exactly the same as Karla, funnily enough! An i-pod (or other generic Mp3 portable music player....) would be good to try and block out idiots in the office, and may be very calming/soothing.

And I have been in your EXACT position at work, pregnant and knowing I was about to leave, being given too big a workload and also trying to apease everyone, whilst also compiling a training manual of sorts for whoever would be taking over my role in my absence, as my boss still hadn't employed anyone a week before he knew I was going on maternity leave, and so I wouldn't be there to show them the ropes! (And my job was quite complex, and like you, had imalgamated two other people's!). But I tell you what Michelle, hindsight now is a marvellous thing - and maybe you can succeed, using my experience, where I failed!

First of all, the best thing hindsight taught me was that the place didn't fall apart in my absence!!! So oh, how I wish I had given myself a break and used that magic word 'NO'! You have just explained that, in affect, you can get away with murder at work as worry of a law suit prevents them from sacking you - so what's the worst you can do???!!

For a start, how come they have assumed you can take on someone else's full time work load, on top of yours, for no extra pay?? If I could go back now, when the same was done to me, I would certainly be re-negotiating my pay - they're MORE than getting their money's worth out of you aren't they? And if the load is simply too much - tell them!!!! It might be easily rectified by shifting some elsewhere - but as long as you appear to keep on coping, they'll keep on letting you. I am sure they would rather the job was done well by someone who can do it to the best of their ability, without having a nervous breakdown!

Ask to meet with your boss, and explain you are only human, with one pair of hands and so many hours in the day. This may be liberating and help you feel better in itself, and you might be surprised how accomodating they will be - once they know the situation. And if these other colleagues who expect you to also do their work keep putting upon you, again - if you can - just say "Sorry, but I can't help you today". What can they do?? Draw that line Michelle - it is your right, and you must for your own health and sanity. It may even earn you more respect in the workplace - it's funny how that happens!

I agree with you too about the Recruitment Agencies. I have had it happen to me, and heard it so many times from other people - that mysterious job they say you're ideal for, that strangely you never get, but by then they have got you on their books and in their office - it's a classic recruitment trick. So, OK, that's how they work, but just remember they are there to work for YOU - your husband could try reminding them that the quicker they get him the job he needs, the quicker they'll get their commission cheque from the employer.... and the better job they find him, the bigger that cheque will be (as a percentage of his yearly wage usually). He does need to be pro-active and on their case, but he doesn't need to rely on one, or even on an agency at all. Has he done things like on-line job searches too? And local papers are good ones, and good old word of mouth. It is always easier to find a job when you're in a job - shows you're highly employable. And of course there is the age old re-negotiation with your current employer - they may pay him more to keep him if they think he wants to leave? 'Don't ask doesn't get'!!

Try and be brave and tackle your own work situation first Michelle - it may be one you hate, but you can at least make it easier on yourself - I am sure your boss will be very understanding. I wish you luck! xx

Subject: Re: Rough day... a well needed rant. Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:34 pm

Well I finally found someone in this office who can relate to me 100%. The human resources lady who can't be much older than I am sat with me today and we chatted for a while. She had the same problem I am having and she said she had to leave the office for the rest of her preganancy. She had the same problems... starting at a month and a half, lasted all 9 months and she couldn't keep crackers or the meds down without constantly throwing them up. She was getting further and further behind with her work, she was stressing out and she said, "I finally got to a point where I said, "Screw this... it's not worth my stress."" "I spent more time throwing up than working so I said, 'Why am I doing this again?'" Which is exactly what I said is happening to me.

She suggested I take a little time off to feel better like she did and I agreed. So we agreed that tomorrow will be my last day here and she said, "Whatever you do, do not go looking for anything new until you feel better. You have to relax for you and the baby. Visit family, sleep, go to the doctors, get stuff done around the home whatever you body feels like it can do that day and do nothing more. When you feel better either before or after the baby is born, call me back and I'll see if I have anything for you to do because you did such a great job around here, we'd like to have you back." So that was encouraging. I'm going to take some time to let the morning sickness pass and get some stuff done that I have been neglecting. When the sickness passes and I feel like I can function without chain vomiting or nausea I'll see whatever else I can get that's out there.

I did the iPod thing for a while but I'm at a point now where I just can't listen to it anymore. I heard all the songs a hundred times over to the point I feel like I'm listening to our local pop radio station.

Yeah the rant yesterday just kept going and going. It was a cranky day. I ate one bite of a pretzel and in seconds it came back up leaving me to vomit in the garbage can =o( SO embarassing! So I tried again and the 2nd time I threw up on me so I had to run out of here to change. Dinner came, 1 bite and 1 second later same thing. My husband was astonished as that was the fastest he'd ever seen me vomit after eating. I just couldn't keep anything down and it was frustrating. All around was a frustrating day yesterday.

Subject: Re: Rough day... a well needed rant. Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:41 pm

I'm so glad this HR Lady has known exactly what you're feeling and that you listened to her advice. Enjoy this time, relax, recuperate. God will take care of you - something else will come along when you need it.

Subject: Re: Rough day... a well needed rant. Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:22 pm

Wow what a blessing...can't tell me that wasn't God....you cried out enough and threw up enough and he heard you...throught the HR lady of course. I felt so bad for you after reading your rant but am so glad you are going to be able to relax and calm your system down.

Glad to hear it

Barbara

Subject: Re: Rough day... a well needed rant. Thu Mar 20, 2008 5:45 pm

Thank goodness - a resolve! I'm so pleased you can see a bit of a silver lining now Michelle. Rest up and replenish your soul!! xx